At times, while reading Scripture, a word will jump out at
me. If this happens, I will try to stay
with the word and pray about what God may be trying to tell me. I was reading John 5:17-23 and came to the
following: “The Father loves the Son and shows him all that he himself is
doing; and he will show him greater works than these, so that you will be
astonished.” I simply stopped at the
word “astonished.” I have to say that this
struck me with wonder. What was Jesus saying here? Does God want us to be astonished? The prospect
of God wanting us to be filled with wonder filled me with delight.
I decided to look up the definition of astonish. Astonish means “to strike with sudden and
usually great wonder or surprise.”
Astonish, wonder and surprise are words filled with such infinite
promise. Here was Jesus saying that the
works of the Father would astonish us. I
began to think of Jesus being astonished.
He must have completely enjoyed all of the beauty of creation. He had to
utterly immerse himself in life. What
did he feel when he watched the sun rise and set? Was he captivated by a full moon on a lush
summer evening? Was he fascinated by the
utter variety of the human face? Did he
relish the company of his friends? What
flowers took his breath away? Did bird
song fill his heart with joy? The
possibilities are endless. Thinking
about the astonishment of Jesus led me to assess my own propensity to
wonderment.
I cannot think of being astonished without children first
coming to mind. Children are both
astonishing and endlessly astonished. I
don’t know many people who are not captivated by young children. Their capacity for wonder is seemingly
boundless. Even the smallest and seemingly most insignificant thing can bring
them joy. My favorite story about the
wonder of a child comes from an experience with my daughter Regan. Regan was constantly enchanted by
everything. She would draw and write. On a few spring evenings, we even had to make
tiny clothes for the leprechaun on St. Patrick’s Day. There are many tales of a delighted Regan, but
what I remember most was the day that she was outside calling excitedly for me
to come and see what she had found. I
went outside to see this small girl with her radiant smile hunched over while
she struggled to carry a huge rock. When
she saw me, Regan beamed with excitement and announced: “Mommy, mommy,
look! I found a meteor!”
When do we lose our capacity for this type of
astonishment? When do rocks cease being
meteors? When do we stop believing in
leprechauns? After reading Jesus speak
of being astonished, it occurred to me that God really does intend for us to be
filled with awe and wonder. After all,
we are his children, his beloved sons and daughters. Of course, the all loving
Father would want to see his children filled with joy and awe over his
bountiful creation. Jesus said that we need to be like little
children to enter into the kingdom.
Maybe one of the reasons for Jesus’ charge to be childlike is God’s desire
to astonish us.
My
own assessment of my sense of astonishment confirms the need to be childlike. I
know that in those moments that take my breath away, I am closest to my inner
child. Sometimes I am very aware of
when my inner child takes over. I had a
recent experience at that local home improvement store. Color astonishes
me. Invariably, when I am surrounded by
color, I simply stop thinking and start smiling. While in the home improvement store, I was in
a somber mood and was dutifully looking for just the right shade of teal and
gray for our living room. Soon, I was
attracted by the reds, bright pinks, and then, my favorite of all, orange. I ended up picking all kinds of color cards
and excitedly went to find my husband and daughter. When my daughter Savannah saw the orange
color card, she said emphatically, “Mother, we are not going to paint the big
room orange too.” (Yes, my kitchen is already a bright shade of orange.) At that point, my fun was dashed. I knew then that my inner child had taken
control and succumbed to all the wonderful colors.
How often has the flash of a red flower caught my attention
while on a determined drive, or the brilliant cardinal flew past while I was
distracted with work? How fleeting are
these moments of wonder. But, if God
desires us to be astonished, why should the moments of wonder only sporadically
cross our paths in the hurried and busy pace of life? The saints were filled with awe for God and
his works. While praying on the word “astonished”,
I read that the gentle and child-like St. Francis of Assisi “was amazed by the
sound of the astonishing voice” upon
hearing the Lord in the San Damiano Chapel tell him to “rebuild my church”. In
focusing on the word “astonished” in this Scripture passage, I thought that
perhaps astonishment needs to be cultivated.
Perhaps I need to practice taking time each day to deliberately ponder
the wonder of God’s creation. I need to
allow myself to be carried away by color or inspired by some beautiful music. I
need to write about my wonder. I need to
let God astonish me, each and every day, right where I am in my life. I need to be astonished by the mere fact that
he loves me that much. As I drove
pondering this question, I was listening to some music and heard: “I don’t know how, but when He touched me, I
was blind and now I see.” And maybe that
is really what is going on. When Jesus
touches us, he gives us new eyes and we can finally see. How can we not be astonished?
