Autism Awareness

I recently saw the following  post on Face Book from Autism with a Side of  Fries: "April is Autism Awareness Month.  Or as I like to call it, every single day in this house."  My immediate reaction was, "been there, really done that." I knew exactly what she was talking about.  Autism awareness has filled every day of my life experience for almost 20 years. First, it was working through each day trying to be aware of what my son was thinking and why he was behaving the way he was.   I believe that I was his interpreter for a very long time.  When he did not have the words to say what he was thinking or feeling, I needed to figure it out in order to help him through.  I think that I became very good at that interpreting.  All along I wanted him to understand what the "real" world was expecting, while still trying to let him be himself.  And so, all the blue signs popping up calling for "Autism Awareness"  led me to start thinking about what this awareness really should involve.
Over the years, I have come to think of autism less and less as a disability.   I have grown to accept, and even appreciate it as a different way of thinking.  While my son has difficulties with social interactions, anxiety and rigid thinking, these issues are far outweighed by his positive attributes.  My son is a wonderful listener.  He does not have all of the attachments to things and the expectations of others that keep most of us from being truly present to our lives.  He is always honest.  The "rule boy" in him means that he respects the rules of life.  He respects others.  He is accepting and genuine.  There is no pretense whatsoever about him. He knows how to be quiet and he appreciates solitude.  He does not expect people to be anything other than who they truly are.  He has a different way of thinking all right.  But, I have started to wonder if the world would not be a much better place if we all engaged in this different way of thinking.   And here in lies the crux of what autism awareness has come to mean to me.
My son has taught me to look for and understand and embrace the differences that each one of us has.  For a very long time now, I have never been in a store and wondered why the parents of a child in meltdown could not better control him.  It has been a long time since I have wondered with a critical eye why a person was dressed in an unusual way or engaged in a quirky behavior.  He has taught me that words are much less important than actions and that I do indeed use far too many words.  He has taught me that in silence, true awareness begins and this makes real presence possible. Our entire journey with autism has been one of awareness.  The kind of awareness that leads to appreciation, respect, love and admiration for the differences and beauty that each person brings to the world through their own "different way of thinking."